Have you ever held on to something from your past, that just filled you with so much guilt? Believe me, I know the feeling. It really puts a gigantic stumbling block in your walk with God. I know the feeling so well.
The thing about God's love is that we sometimes feel so unworthy of it that we allow these negative thoughts to invade our mind, and we start to give up. Then when we give up, we don't know how to get back.
I remember saying prayers to God, confessing to Him. I have done it more than once. I knew He listened, but I guess I expected some feeling of reassurance that I was forgiven. I guess I just didn't feel it.
I have suffered with this guilt for a few years. Today, I knew something needed to change. God will always help us, He will not forsake those who seek him. But we also need to help ourselves. When we notice those feelings coming back, we must pray at once. I am even planning on memorizing some scripture that would be perfect to say to myself when those feelings arise. We also need to remove factors in our life that lead to a negative attitude.
I made this part of my new years resolution. In reality, I know it really should have happened a very long time ago. With God's loving kindness, I know I can succeed.
-Rebecca
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